Private Intermediary Service

PAC-UK's Private Intermediary Service provides specialist support to adult adoptees and birth relatives who wish to reconnect with their relatives. The service also provides support to descendants and other relatives of deceased adult adoptees who wish to understand more about their relative’s birth history before adoption. Our expert team of highly skilled and experienced intermediaries and researchers will support you throughout the process. Our service includes a dedicated FamilyConnect Advice Line for advice, guidance and support and we also offer tracing and intermediary services.

• A specialist service
• FamilyConnect Advice Line
• Tracing and intermediary services
• Norcap Contact Register
• Meet our team

A specialist service

Phone 0300 1800 205 | Email familyconnect@pac-uk.org

We provide specialist advice, guidance, tracing and intermediary services to support everyone affected by adoption. If you are an adult adoptee or a birth relative who wishes to reconnect with someone lost to adoption our Private Intermediary Service can:

1. Trace who you are trying to find and make the first contact on your behalf
2. Negotiate an outcome that balances your needs and those of others involved
3. Where contact is wanted, support all parties through the initial stages
4. Offer specialist guidance throughout (our intermediaries have a wealth of experience in this complex area)
5. Provide support where contact is not wanted and discuss ‘what next’

One of the key benefits of using a PAC-UK intermediary is the careful preparation that’s undertaken. Making an approach in this way shows your relative that you have their welfare in mind; our intermediary will provide support not just to you, but also to the person approached who may not feel able to confide in anyone else.

If you have been separated from a relative through adoption and would like to receive an intermediary service, please complete our expression of interest form or contact us (see dedicated number and mailbox below) for a discussion about your particular situation and for information about the costs of the service. You can also download our PAC-UK Private Intermediary Service Flyer.

The knowledge and professionalism of my PAC-UK Intermediary was remarkable. She kept me informed, calm and reassured throughout. My expectations were kept at a realistic level – I was excited by the journey and never given impossible hope. I got to meet my birth sisters and birth father. It was a joyous, life-affirming process from start to finish. I now have a peace I didn’t know I needed.Adult adoptee

FamilyConnect Advice Line

Our dedicated FamilyConnect Advice Line (0300 1800 205) supports adult adoptees, their descendants and birth relatives who wish to reconnect with their relatives - this line is open Monday 3.00pm to 6.00pm (excluding bank holidays), Tuesday 11.00am to 2.00pm and Thursday 1.00pm to 7.00pm. You can also email your enquiry to familyconnect@pac-uk.org. 

Thank you, to you all at PAC-UK. From the bottom of my heart and my mother’s. My mother finally has a chance to close the door on her demons and I have the opportunity (hopefully one day) to be a sister. You have changed our lives. I hope you all realise the huge impact you are making on each of the cases that you take on. You are all absolute angels.Birth relative

Tracing and intermediary services

Jo’s story: My experience as a birth mother finding their adopted child

Many adult adoptees want to find out more about the reasons for their adoption which can lead to them searching for and sometimes contacting their birth family. We can advise you about accessing your adoption records to enable you to make an informed decision about whether to look for your birth family.

Our experienced researchers can trace relatives, or someone closely related to them and we can make intermediary contact with them on your behalf giving a better chance of a positive outcome and giving you support through this emotional process.

This service offers preparation for possible contact and/or reunion with birth relatives, as well as initiation of contact with birth relatives, in accordance with relevant legislation.

If you have been separated from a relative through adoption and would like to receive an intermediary service, please complete our expression of interest form. Completed forms are automatically forwarded to our FamilyConnect Advice Line who will contact you at the earliest opportunity to discuss the services you can access.

Norcap Contact Register

On 3 April 2020 services delivered by Adoption Services for Adults (ASFA), including the management of the Norcap Contact Register (NCR) transferred to Family Action, and will now be delivered by PAC-UK.

This means we can check the NCR for links on behalf of adult adoptees and their relatives. For all NCR enquiries email familyconnect@pac-uk.org or call our FamilyConnect Advice Line on 0300 1800 205 (opening hours listed above).

Meet our team

We have a team of highly skilled and experienced intermediaries and researchers who are passionate about adoption search and reunion and are proud to work within an agency rated as ‘Outstanding’ in all areas by Ofsted. They prepare and support you through the intermediary process, make a sensitive approach on your behalf and facilitate contact where this is wanted.

Sharon Lake

Lead Intermediary & Intermediary Supervisor. Sharon joined our Private Intermediary Service in May 2023 as an Associate Intermediary. She has worked with adopted adults seeking birth relatives and offered support to birth families during the process of reunification. She has been the Lead Intermediary and Supervisor since April 2024. This role includes responsibilities within the FamilyConnect Project which aims to provide support, information and guidance to adults whose lives have been impacted by adoption.…Read More

Lead Intermediary & Intermediary Supervisor. Sharon joined our Private Intermediary Service in May 2023 as an Associate Intermediary. She has worked with adopted adults seeking birth relatives and offered support to birth families during the process of reunification. She has been the Lead Intermediary and Supervisor since April 2024. This role includes responsibilities within the FamilyConnect Project which aims to provide support, information and guidance to adults whose lives have been impacted by adoption. Sharon brings professional experience of over 20 years working in children’s Social Care as a Social Worker, Independent Reviewing Officer and manager in Safeguarding, Fostering and Adoption Services within local authorities and the private sector. Sharon is a BACP registered adult Psychotherapeutic Counsellor with a small private practice. She has worked with a national bereavement charity and a charity organisation offering support to members of LGBTQ communities. In addition to training completed to offer intermediary services Sharon has undertaken further training in post adoption counselling for adult. Sharon enjoys bringing her accumulated skills and experience to provide a wide and considered perspective to the Private Intermediary Service.

Carolyn Jones

Associate Intermediary. Carolyn joined PAC-UK as an experienced intermediary in 2020. Many of her cases involve working with sibling and complex family relationships. She highly values diversity and the importance of understanding each service user’s individual hopes and needs. Carolyn also works on the PAC-UK FamilyConnect Advice Line. She is an experienced Psychotherapeutic Counsellor and member of BACP with a special interest in attachment, early separation, and adoption related issues.…Read More

Associate Intermediary. Carolyn joined PAC-UK as an experienced intermediary in 2020. Many of her cases involve working with sibling and complex family relationships. She highly values diversity and the importance of understanding each service user’s individual hopes and needs. Carolyn also works on the PAC-UK FamilyConnect Advice Line. She is an experienced Psychotherapeutic Counsellor and member of BACP with a special interest in attachment, early separation, and adoption related issues. While training as a counsellor, Carolyn worked at Norcap in various roles, gaining experience within the full range of post adoption service provision for adults. Subsequently she joined Adoption Services for Adults as a specialist counsellor and intermediary until 2020. Carolyn gained her counselling experience at two community counselling services in Milton Keynes. Her previous roles have included working in post-compulsory education, and she particularly enjoyed having responsibility for worldwide alumni liaison at the University of Buckingham during its earlier years.

Clare Spencer

Intermediary Supervisor and Associate Intermediary. Clare joined PAC-UK in 2020 as an Associate Intermediary, having previously worked as Intermediary at Norcap. In 2022, Clare took on an additional Intermediary Supervisor role at PAC-UK and - as well as continuing to deliver intermediary support - works closely with our Lead Intermediary & Intermediary Supervisor and our Intermediary Coordinator. …Read More

Intermediary Supervisor and Associate Intermediary. Clare joined PAC-UK in 2020 as an Associate Intermediary, having previously worked as Intermediary at Norcap. In 2022, Clare took on an additional Intermediary Supervisor role at PAC-UK and – as well as continuing to deliver intermediary support – works closely with our Lead Intermediary & Intermediary Supervisor and our Intermediary Coordinator. Clare offers empathy and compassion when supporting adults affected by all aspects of adoption and brings an extensive knowledge of family dynamics from her previous roles as a Coordinator for Home-Start UK and as an Education Welfare Officer for a Local Authority.

Debbie Webb

Associate Intermediary. Debbie has worked as an intermediary for over 15 years, including working with Norcap and Adoption Services for Adults (ASFA) prior to joining PAC-UK. She has extensive experience of supporting adults on all sides of the adoption triangle and regularly supports people living overseas.Read More

Associate Intermediary. Debbie has worked as an intermediary for over 15 years, including working with Norcap and Adoption Services for Adults (ASFA) prior to joining PAC-UK. She has extensive experience of supporting adults on all sides of the adoption triangle and regularly supports people living overseas.

Jan Smaje

Associate Intermediary. Jan has been an intermediary for over 25 years. She also has knowledge of a few different languages which has been really helpful when working with reunions across countries!Read More

Associate Intermediary. Jan has been an intermediary for over 25 years. She also has knowledge of a few different languages which has been really helpful when working with reunions across countries!

Joanna Howe

Associate Intermediary. Joanna has been working as an intermediary with PAC-UK since 2021. She has a special interest in adoption and passionate about the service and the importance of the work. Joanna also has experience working with the Donor Conceived (DC) community working as an Intermediary and counsellor for the DC and their donors and has recently been involved with and featured on the ITV documentary, Born from the Same Stranger, which documented the unique journeys of several donor conceived contributors discovering information about themselves and genetic relatives.…Read More

Associate Intermediary. Joanna has been working as an intermediary with PAC-UK since 2021. She has a special interest in adoption and passionate about the service and the importance of the work. Joanna also has experience working with the Donor Conceived (DC) community working as an Intermediary and counsellor for the DC and their donors and has recently been involved with and featured on the ITV documentary, Born from the Same Stranger, which documented the unique journeys of several donor conceived contributors discovering information about themselves and genetic relatives. Joanna is a qualified Counsellor (MBACP) and Couples Counsellor and has additional experience working with clients with acquired brain injury(ABI) and does voluntary work with her local hospice, as a Bereavement Counsellor, which she finds hugely rewarding.

Kathy Wilshaw

Researcher and Associate Intermediary. Kathy has worked in adoption for over 30 years, in both intermediary and research roles. She began as a volunteer with NORCAP, running the in-house search room and leading the team of researchers. She worked as a Helpline Adviser at Adoption UK and as a researcher and intermediary with Adoption Services for Adults.…Read More

Researcher and Associate Intermediary. Kathy has worked in adoption for over 30 years, in both intermediary and research roles. She began as a volunteer with NORCAP, running the in-house search room and leading the team of researchers. She worked as a Helpline Adviser at Adoption UK and as a researcher and intermediary with Adoption Services for Adults. Kathy has a special interest in how the analysis of DNA can help locate previously unknown family. She is a member of the professional genealogist organisations AGRA and RQG.

Lyndsey Marshall

Associate Intermediary. Having previously worked at PAC-UK in a senior leadership role, Lyndsey is delighted to be back at PAC-UK in this voluntary role. Lyndsey feels this role enables her to continue to contribute to the sector and the wider work of PAC-UK, supporting all parties affected by adoption and permanency.Read More

Associate Intermediary. Having previously worked at PAC-UK in a senior leadership role, Lyndsey is delighted to be back at PAC-UK in this voluntary role. Lyndsey feels this role enables her to continue to contribute to the sector and the wider work of PAC-UK, supporting all parties affected by adoption and permanency.

Yasmin Hewison

Intermediary Coordinator and Associate Intermediary. Yasmin’s main role is to co-ordinate our Private Intermediary Service and she has been part of the team since May 2020, having previously worked with another Voluntary Adoption Support Agency, Adoption Services for Adults. She has a special interest in adoption and is passionate about the service and providing the best possible support to applicants.…Read More

Intermediary Coordinator and Associate Intermediary. Yasmin’s main role is to co-ordinate our Private Intermediary Service and she has been part of the team since May 2020, having previously worked with another Voluntary Adoption Support Agency, Adoption Services for Adults. She has a special interest in adoption and is passionate about the service and providing the best possible support to applicants. She is also a qualified counsellor and works on the Family Connect Advice Line.

Jenny Brooks

Associate Intermediary. Jenny has an extensive professional background in psychology, and adult guidance and counselling, working for over 30 years in schools, post-16 and university education, pastoral care, training, and lifelong personal/emotional development. She is a member of the British Psychological Society and holds an M Ed (Lifelong Learning) and a Postgraduate Certificate in Integrative Psychotherapy.…Read More

Associate Intermediary. Jenny has an extensive professional background in psychology, and adult guidance and counselling, working for over 30 years in schools, post-16 and university education, pastoral care, training, and lifelong personal/emotional development. She is a member of the British Psychological Society and holds an M Ed (Lifelong Learning) and a Postgraduate Certificate in Integrative Psychotherapy. She is also an experienced professional in disability, with particular focus on Autism and a range of mental health issues, latterly in the university context, since the early 2000s. Jenny has been drawn to intermediary work more recently through a personal interest in supporting others on their reconnection journey, and a deep understanding of the emotional complexities this often involves.

Kathy Drake

Associate Intermediary. Kathy has a professional background in social work: for many years working as a children’s guardian and independent social worker. As well as her social work qualifications, she also has a Certificate in Counselling and has held specialised posts in fostering and adoption teams across London. The dynamic of adoption and the relationship between the parties involved has been a key area of interest throughout her career and Kathy is pleased that through her role at PAC-UK as an intermediary she will be working directly on these issues.Read More

Associate Intermediary. Kathy has a professional background in social work: for many years working as a children’s guardian and independent social worker. As well as her social work qualifications, she also has a Certificate in Counselling and has held specialised posts in fostering and adoption teams across London. The dynamic of adoption and the relationship between the parties involved has been a key area of interest throughout her career and Kathy is pleased that through her role at PAC-UK as an intermediary she will be working directly on these issues.

Monica Dallas

Associate Intermediary. Monica - who joined our Private Intermediary Service team in 2023 - has over 38 years experience as a registered Social Worker and Team Manager in children's services, mainly specialising in the areas of fostering and adoption. She has also attained a number of qualifications over the years to support her various roles, including systemic practice, counselling and further education teaching.…Read More

Associate Intermediary. Monica – who joined our Private Intermediary Service team in 2023 – has over 38 years experience as a registered Social Worker and Team Manager in children’s services, mainly specialising in the areas of fostering and adoption. She has also attained a number of qualifications over the years to support her various roles, including systemic practice, counselling and further education teaching. Monica currently sits as a panel member with two Regional Adoption Agencies (RAAs) and is keen to extend her interest in the area of adoption by applying the training completed with PAC-UK, to support those with lived experiences of adoption.