If you are a Professional working for one of the following Local Authorities or an individual living in one of the areas listed you may choose the 'PAC-UK Subscribing Local Authorities' price when making a booking.

Barking & Dagenham
Hammersmith & Fulham
Kensington & Chelsea
Tower Hamlets
Waltham Forest
West Sussex
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Traversing the turbulent teens: how to have a happy ending - Leeds


Roadmap for leaving homeTeenagers! Turbulence? Do they go hand in hand and how can you stay connected to your teenager as they traverse the difficult task of separating while staying connected? This dynamic workshop presented by Holly van Gulden and Leed’s trainers Joanna and Anthea Hendry will explore these, and other questions. This NEW workshop will provide a great opportunity for parents of teens to explore this enormously significant transition which begins long before a child leaves home.
Combining Preparing the roadmap to leave home: leaving home and staying connected and Still parenting but living apart.


This workshop combines Holly van Gulden’s ‘Preparing the roadmap to leave home: helping adolescents to leave home and stay connected’ with a ‘live’ example, shared by Joanna and Anthea Hendry who present ‘Still parenting but living apart’.

Joanna, an adoptive parent will tell her adoption story with a focus on a period when her adopted daughter was in her teens and life became so difficult that she had to return to the care system for some months. She will describe some of the positive and negative parts of this experience.

Holly and Anthea will contextualise the narrative. Holly by highlighting the essential tasks of adolescence: separation and individuation AND a third, closely aligned task, which is often overlooked but which is crucial to healthy maturation: that of stretching the bond with parents and family and maintaining connections in a new and different way.

Holly will also discuss the dynamics and dilemmas of adolescent separation, offering techniques to help parents and young people ‘let go’ and stay connected. She will talk about adolescence being a time when we need to “redo childhood in a different way”. Children and young adults who have been separated from parents and/or significant caregivers in the past often ‘redo’ the separation of leaving home in patterns to which they have been accustomed. This might mean leaving abruptly, before they are ready, and/or not maintaining connections, or stretching the bond to breaking point, while desperately needing it to hold. Using the tools and concepts of object relations this presentation will discuss the dynamics and dilemmas of adolescent separation, offering techniques to help parents and young people ‘let go’ and stay connected.

Anthea, who was the Joanna’s family’s therapist through the turbulent period, will examine some of the psychological, neurobiological and attachment elements in this story and talk about some of the therapeutic support often found to be most appropriate at different developmental stages.

Who should attend

Social workers and other professionals working in adoption and permanency
Adoptive parents and other permanent carers


Holly van Gulden: Internationally renowned counsellor and speaker Holly van Gulden has been training adoptive and foster parents and professionals for over 24 years. Holly’s refreshing blend of humour and compassion has made her one of PAC’s most popular presenters. Holly is an adoptive parent and grew up in a multi-racial, international family comprised of six children born to the family, four adopted children and several foster brothers and sisters. This experience has given Holly extra insight into what it’s like to grow up adopted and to parent through adoption.

Joanna is an adoptive parent, whose adopted daughter returned to the care system for a period during her teens.

Anthea Hendry is an art psychotherapist who has worked for many years with people whose lives have been affected by adoption. Initially this was as a social worker in Bradford Fostering and Adoption Unit then as the first manager of After Adoption Yorkshire and then as a psychotherapist in Leeds Child and Adolescent Mental Health Unit.

Benefits of attending

At the end of the ‘The roadmap to leaving home’ delegates will be able to:
• Understand why maintaining the connection to family is difficult for adolescents who joined their family through adoption.
• Clearly chart their teens’ earlier patterns of leaving caregivers so as to address new and different ways to launch/leave in adolescence.
• Identify old loss/leaving patterns and weakness in permanence and /or constancy.
• Define at least two parenting techniques to address weakness in permanence (the capacity to take it for granted that things, parents, parental love and safety continue to exist when out of sensory contact).
• Define at least two parenting techniques to address weakness in constancy (the capacity to take it for granted that the parents’ love continues even when there is stress, anger, discord and distance).

From ‘Still parenting but living apart’ delegates will learn about:
• The long term consequences of early pre – placement trauma and an adoptive parent’s experience of secondary trauma
• The additional tasks for adoptive parents and adopted young people during adolescence in relation to identity and contact with birth family
• What professionals can do to support the longer term relationship between an adopted young person and their adoptive parents during a period when the adopted young person returns to the care system
• Some of the therapeutic interventions that may be helpful for some adoptive families at different stages.

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Prices excluding VAT

PAC and AAY Subscribing Local Authorities:
Individuals: £78 (£93.60 incl. VAT); Couples: £146 (£175.20 incl. VAT);
Professionals: £135 (£162 incl. VAT)
PAC and AAY Non-Subscribing Local Authorities:
Individuals: £89 (£106.80 incl. VAT); Couples: £167 (£200.40 incl. VAT);
Professionals: £159 (£190.80 incl. VAT)

We are sorry but registration for this event is now closed.

Please contact us if you would like to know if spaces are still available.

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