PAC-UK Parenting Forum

Welcome to the PAC-UK Parenting Forum. Once a month we'll be putting up an adoption related topic for you to discuss via Twitter using the hashtag #PACParentingForum.

The purpose of the PAC-UK Parenting Forum is to increase awareness of topics that are relevant and current for adoptive parents, and to promote brief stimulating exchanges between you.

If you don't use Twitter but would still like to participate in the discussion please complete this contact form and we can post your comments on your behalf.

What do teenagers want?

In this publication Louis Sydney writes on how you can help teens to stay connected with family life and explore the world.

After you have read this we encourage you to discuss your thoughts on the findings via Twitter using the hashtag #PACParentingForum

Please also remember to tag @PACUKadoption in your Tweets! You can read what other people have been saying here!

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lotteryfunded64h

The PAC-UK Parenting Forum is part of a 5 year project funded by The Big Lottery to support adoptive families.

Trauma, adoption & education

Education has long been a key issue for adoptive parents and special guardians. In the last few years, the Department for Education has increasingly acknowledged the importance of meeting the needs of permanently placed children, who are now entitled to priority admission and to the pupil premium plus grant.

In this excerpt from PAC-UK’s Practice Guide for Schools, Julia Clements explains the impact of trauma and in-utero experiences on children’s cognition, learning and attainment. Emma Gore Langton, Head of PAC-UK’s Education Service, then provides an up-to-date picture of what is known about the educational outcomes of permanently placed children.

We would like you to read this paper and let us know what you think.

After you have read the report we encourage you to discuss your thoughts on the findings via Twitter using the hashtag #PACParentingForum

Please also remember to tag @PACUKadoption in your Tweets! You can read what other people have been saying here!

'Follow' PAC-UK on Twitter 
‘Like’ PAC-UK on Facebook

lotteryfunded64hThe PAC-UK Parenting Forum is part of a 5 year project funded by The Big Lottery to support adoptive families.

Re- connecting Parents and Young People with Serious Behaviour Problems - Child-Focused Practice and Reconciliation Work in Non-Violent Resistance Therapy

Recognising that child on parent violence is an issue that may need to be addressed in adoptive and other families of permanence. PAC, together with Peter Jakob, is offering two trainings. The first is a four day professional training, the second is a one day workshop for parents.

We would like you to read this paper and let us know what you think.

After you have read the report we encourage you to discuss your thoughts on the findings via Twitter using the hashtag #PACParentingForum

Please also remember to tag @PACUKadoption in your Tweets! You can read what other people have been saying here!

'Follow' PAC-UK on Twitter 
‘Like’ PAC-UK on Facebook

lotteryfunded64hThe PAC-UK Parenting Forum is part of a 5 year project funded by The Big Lottery to support adoptive families.


Beyond the adoption order: challenges, intervention, disruption

On 9 April 2014 the Department for Education (DfE) published a research report that investigates how often and why adoptions disrupt after an adoption order has been made.

We would like you to read the 30 page research brief  which summarises the main findings of the report and let us know what you think.

After you have read the report we encourage you to discuss your thoughts on the findings via Twitter using the hashtag #PACParentingForum

Please also remember to tag @PACUKadoption in your Tweets! You can read what other people have been saying here!

'Follow' PAC-UK on Twitter
‘Like’ PAC-UK on Facebook
 

The full 321 page final report is available here.

lotteryfunded64hThe PAC-UK Parenting Forum is part of a 5 year project funded by The Big Lottery to support adoptive families.


Enhancing Adoptive Parenting online forum and Skype offer

This forum gave parents and carers interested in participating in PAC’s Enhancing Adoptive Parenting (EAP) programme the opportunity to register their interest and to put questions (by using the online ‘Ask a Question’ form on this page) to EAP parent adviser Maggie Rogers.

Thank you to all who participated.  We have drawn the three names out of the hat and these families will be contacted by their parent adviser shortly. Maggie’s answers to your questions will remain at the bottom of this page.

EAP is an individualised parenting programme for adopters and permanent carers facing challenging problems in children aged 3-8 recently placed from care. The EAP programme is carried out over ten sessions by PAC-trained parent advisers on a one-to-one basis in parents’/carers’ own homes, or at another convenient venue.

Unlike many interventions in adoption support, EAP has been rigorously tested for effectiveness in a Randomised Controlled Trial as part of the Adoption Research Initiative (funded by the Department for Education and the Nuffield Foundation).

Download the EAP leaflet here.

Please contact us if you have any other questions relating to the EAP programme.

Answered Questions

Q1. Our son has just joined the family.  He is 5 and has been with us three months.  His behaviour is challenging. Is it too soon to think about doing the EAP programme?Adoptive parents

A1.Thank you for your question.  Now would be a good time to do the EAP programme.  If you start positive parenting early on in the placement you are likely to get good results and feel more effective as parents.Maggie Rogers, EAP Parent Adviser

 

Q2.How do you 'discipline' (for want of a better word) a child with attachment difficulties if they do something wrong. For example sometimes our children bite each other and we find it difficult to find a suitable reaction which will not also push them into feelings of shame or lower their already low self esteem?Adoptive parent

A2.Working with an EAP parent advisor, you would be helped to see that biting is a very common behaviour in children and can occur for many reasons and at different developmental stages.  In other words, while being ‘normal’ it can be worrying.  With adopted children there may be developmental delay so they are chronologically one age but developmentally younger.  So, to find out why they are doing the biting means we need to become behaviour detectives!

However, you ask about strategies for dealing with biting which don’t lead to shame.  Some that emerge from the EAP programme are:

  1. Plan in advance – before they bite.  You may notice that a child often clenches their teeth before they bite.  You may be aware of the situations when it is likely to happen so if you do, whisk the child away
  2. Catch ‘behaving well’ behaviours and praise those behaviours to get more of the behaviours you want
  3. Keep it positive – no ‘don’ts’!  Try ‘We keep our mouths to ourselves’
  4. Some people suggest standing between the child who bites and the child who is bitten. Turn away from the child who bites and remove attention from them for a brief period of time thus reinforcing that this isn’t behaviour that gets attention
  5. Move on and distract – ‘what would you like to play now’

I hope these ideas help!Maggie Rogers, EAP Parent Adviser

 

Q3. Our children are 9 and 11 and have lived with us for 4 and half years. Would the programme be suitable for us or is it too late now?Adoptive parents

A3. The EAP programme has been trialled on children between the ages of 3 and 8 years who have been recently placed.  However, we believe that it would still be suitable for families with older children who have been in placement for some time.  In fact one of our parent advisors has worked with parents who have older children in placement and who have been in placement for some time. Maggie Rogers, EAP Parent Adviser

 

Q4. I am only interested in the optional extra topic of sibling rivalry and jealousy. Is it possible to have this one off session?Adoptive parent

A4. Thank you for your question.  It is something we haven’t be asked for before but I do think should be possible.  It would involve a fee which I would have to work out and send to you.Maggie Rogers, EAP Parent Adviser

 

Q5. Our 6 year old daughter has been with us for a year. We've just applied to formally adopt her. Her behaviour is quite challenging, lots of anger and anxiety. As she's been with us a year is it too late to think about the EAP programme?Adoptive parent

A5. As your daughter is 6 and still quite recently placed the EAP programme would be ideal.Maggie Rogers, EAP Parent Adviser

lotteryfunded64hThe PAC-UK Parenting Forum is part of a 5 year project funded by The Big Lottery to support adoptive families.